My photo
Net Caught Mind Wanderings

Sunday, 5 June 2016

Do You Sometimes Forget Who You Are?

It can be for a second.
For a day
For a month
A year
A few years

Soon you're in so deep that you've become the person that was meant to be a temporary fix.

The best part is when you remember out of the blue - in the middle of the life you've been pretending to lead - who you really are. That you don't need your crutch any more.

Friday, 1 April 2016

Today I Ran.

This is no April Fools gag.

I legitimately put on the exercise gear I bought over the past year (yes it took me a full year to buy three items) and I went out into the brisk April air and ran..well jogged (what I thought was a short circuit but really wasn't) even though I nearly gave up at least 67 times along the way.

Who knows how long it will be until I run again, but for the time being let's all enjoy my small victory - Yay me.

Monday, 14 March 2016


I know I know, I clearly have a problem, or am so vain that I probably think this post is about me.

I have started a new blog

For those of you not keeping count this makes a total of 6 Blogs I have floating around the interweb and roughly 12 if you include all of the academic ones too.

But this one is completely different I swear!

To begin with it's on Wordpress which is different and shiny and new for me (considering more than a quarter of my blogs are on blogger).

It's got a snazzy name, as most of my blogs do, and even though if you worked hard enough you could trace the blog back to me, I'm trying to keep it anonymous - to a certain degree.

This one is solely focused on TV, Film and my navigation of the industry, naturally all told with my unique sense of humour and witticism.

So yeah, check it out and subscribe via email or I believe you can do it through Blogger. Or I completely made that up - who knows.

Shamelessly plugged the link all over this post just in case you miss it!

Friend Ditcher

I've been doing this for years and I can't help myself, and in all honesty I don't see it as a bad thing.

Sometimes its a slow festering well thought out plan. Other times it comes to me out of the blue.

Like I was sat in bed watching something on YouTube completely unrelated, and one of the voices in my head says to me; You're finished with A and B. And as always, the voice was right. I guess the voice echoes a subconscious thought perhaps? I don't know.

Anyway like I said, this happens often, and by often I mean every 3-5 years depending on how long I've known someone. Normally it boils down to the fact that I end up not entirely being myself around them, we don't catch the same vibe so we're wasting time being friends in the long run, or they are just annoying beyond words and no amount of talking it out or ignoring it helps. I honestly respect myself too much to waste my time and money meeting up/going out with people I don't like any more, or who I would have faded away from in the long run

Obviously there are logical reasons involved, I don't blindly listen to the voices in my head, I'll have you know that I happen to be a high functioning psychopath.

So what do you think? Am I just a quitter? Am I just incredibly mean, or does someone out there actually relate or at least have a semblance of understanding for the point I'm trying to convey?

You can't tell how much of the side talk was real can you?
Yeah. Me neither.
Or me.

Thursday, 10 March 2016

Blog Challenge: Day 15 - Where Will You Be In 5 Years

Well I will be 29 which is exciting.

It's March so I could potentially be on holiday as its a nice month for a not so spontaneous break.

Technicals aside; I will have been in the position at the company (that I am working for in five years time) for at least three years, and be preparing to move forward internationally.

Would 1000% have my own place come hell or high water, and potentially a dog.

You can clearly see that my main goals in life involve my career, travel, and moving out.

Sunday, 6 March 2016

Blog Challenge: Day 14 - 3 Healthy Habits

Vegetarian Experimentation aside (which is still going strong by the way) I actually really like vegetables, enjoy drinking water, love salads, hate salty foods and I don't tend to eat a lot of fried foods either.

I like to think this balances out my vast sugar intake

Why Speak When No One Is Listening?

One of my set of friends is me and two guys - well actually I think I have two sets like this but with these two in particular, they never listen to anything I say.

It's not on purpose they just don't hear me when I speak and so I have stopped speaking. And by that I mean, I will chime into a conversation with an opinion or a word of agreement, but  I don't bother telling them anything about myself. We maybe see each other once a month or once every few months depending on our schedules, it's nice as there's no pressure which is what  I look for with all my friends.

Anyways I like to randomly test them to see if they'll pick up any hints I throw.

"B has gone to Prague for a few days and it's funny because I just got back"

They were like; oh yeah I saw B's snapchat/she posted a pick on facebook. Then they moved on to something about themselves, not picking up on me saying I just got back.

I know you are reading this and thinking; Just tell them you went away, or just bring up something about yourself.

There are two reasons why I don't
1) It actually just more fun for me this way
2) I am a very private person (despite typing out life events on a blog) and so if I don't have to tell you something then I won't. If you ask I might but then again I might evade the question completely.

I like hanging out with these guys, we do get on - mostly - and whether you want to call them selfish or me closed off is irrelevant because at the end of the day I'm sure I've said this before but; I never shout to be heard, if your listening you can hear what I'm saying just fine.

Label Me Crazy

Why do I always get strange looks when I mention that I am doing something alone?
Whether it's going away, going to the cinema, going for a run, going for some food, going for a drive.
I literally cannot catch a break from humans whose jaws drop in shock horror, whose heads shake in disbelief, whose eyes glaze over as they fail to understand.

Why do I have to have a companion I neither want nor need?

Why is doing something by ones self seen as such a rarity. An oddity.

You're born alone and you die alone.

I'm not putting down people who have to have someone at their side for every menial task (even though I would be the one whose eyes glaze over as I fail to understand) It's just slightly concerning that everyone is so reliant on others. You won't see a film you've been dying to watch because no one will go with you so you wait until it's out on DVD instead of just buying a ticket for one. etc etc etc

I love my own company and there is nothing wrong with that, I always have an I always will, if anything it's made me strong willed, I have never been perceptible to peer pressure, or followed the crowd, I do what I want when I want and don't have to explain myself to anybody.

It's a freeing life worth trying, even if you start by seeing a film alone.

How Did You Find Your First Day?

Questions I hate

Like wtf am I supposed to say? Because it as sure as hell isn't what I'm actually thinking which tends to be along the lines of; It was unnecessarily long, I could do this shit in my sleep and y'all are some boring ass colleagues.

I'm so used to first days at different places for different periods of times it no longer has an effect on me. My friend said it helps you become fearless, and she was right although I hadn't considered it before.


Spoiler Alert: This post will be mush

So one of my favourite numbers is 23 and I figured that the year I turned 23 would be an amazing year.

It wasn't.

It wasn't terrible but it wasn't the picture I had painted, but that's okay because life loves a good laugh at my expense and I just roll with the punches.

23 I think was a lot about learning, and it wasn't until February that I realised that. I learnt a lot about the career path  I want to head down, about the people I associate with and allowed the person I know I am to be front and centre.

You're never to old, young or experienced to learn, as we are being taught even when we don't realise it. So yeah. Goodbye 23 and thanks for the lessons learnt that will continue to transcend into 24 and beyond.

Please Prepare For An Onslaught of Posts

Friday, 12 February 2016

Blog Challenge: Day 13 - What's Inside Your Fridge

Normally there is nothing in my fridge - like legit nothing and we have two fridges so can you imagine how depressing that is for me to be opening and closing two different fridge doors and still walking out the kitchen hungry?

Any whom, due to my new Vegetarian Experimentation, I have two shelves in one of my fridges stocked with food. Hazar.

Don't hold you breath for anything exciting, I just have a bunch of ingredients. I had just made a tasty Leek and Potato soup so I've got one Leek Left (poor lonely Leek). I have tomatoes because I'll probably make a Tomato and Basil Soup in the week - I really like making Soup. I have a Butternut Squash soup that I bough. Kale, Garlic Bread, Mango, Cheese, Yoghurt, Avocado, Mushrooms, Asparagus, Cheese, Butter, Double Cream and I think in the back is this Sweet Potato with Garlic Ginger and Corriander thing I made. I also had carrot sticks.... but I ate them.

I think what's fun about being a Veg  Head is that I get to try out cooking things I normally wouldn't have done, and it's reminded me how much I actually enjoy cooking. Might cook up the mushrooms tomorrow or make some more mac and cheese.

And to show you what I mean about how my fridge would normally look if I hadn't have gone out to buy stuff specifically to help the Veg Head process....

Yup. Just a pot of rice. and I believe some left over food was in the other fridge. Granted it's Friday but it legit looks like this 6/7 days of the week.

Don't worry I don't starve, we have three freezers that are stuffed to the brim and two cupboards full of canned stuff. We tend to just cook a lot of food as opposed to buying stuff that will need to sit in a fridge if you know what I mean. But obviously when you just want to pick something up to snack on, it's not ideal.

Sunday, 7 February 2016


Both literally and metaphorically

Thursday, 4 February 2016

Bluebird by Charles Bukowski

there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too tough for him,
I say, stay in there, I'm not going
to let anybody see
there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I pour whiskey on him and inhale
cigarette smoke
and the whores and the bartenders
and the grocery clerks
never know that
in there.

there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too tough for him,
I say,
stay down, do you want to mess
me up?
you want to screw up the
you want to blow my book sales in
there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too clever, I only let him out
at night sometimes
when everybody's asleep.
I say, I know that you're there,
so don't be
then I put him back,
but he's singing a little
in there, I haven't quite let him
and we sleep together like
with our
secret pact
and it's nice enough to
make a man
weep, but I don't
weep, do

An old friend likened me to this poem, and I was thinking about them recently and so thought I would post it.

Monday, 1 February 2016


I had to step foot inside my old High School today because I had the bad luck of being home, and the dumb curiosity to answer the house phone - which I never do.

My idiot brother had gotten into a fight at school and I had to sacrifice my vow to not leave the house today, and to ever go back to the school to pick him up.

Although it was good to see the old sexy math teacher again. Banter.

Saturday, 30 January 2016

Our Last Night

I can't remember who the last band Shout Out was about, but it doesn't matter, as I would like to introduce you all to Our Last Night.

A quick backstory of how they got on my radar: My sister accidentally discovered their cover of Selena Gomez's The Heart Wants What It Wants, and she only showed it to me because it made her laugh. Not because it was bad, but because there was an unexpected "screamo" moment in there.... Ooops spoiler alert. Anyways I liked the cover and saw they had quite a few more that I decided to listen to.
They've done; One Direction - Drag Me Down, The Weekend - Can't Feel  My Face, Nsync - Bye Bye Bye, and a bunch of others.

My Favourites are probably their covers of Tove Lo - Habits, Zedd - Clarity, and two I've already mentioned, (Drag Me Down and By Bye Bye.)

The covers were pretty unique because of the whole instruments thing and occasional "screamo" thing, and their voices as well to be honest are really good.
From there I listened to their album Younger Dreams which isn't to bad, there are two or three songs on their that are pretty dope, especially the song "Home".
I've waffled slightly, but all in all I think the band is swell, so give them a listen if you're into Alternative music or you're just looking for something new.

Did I mention the band members are pretty cute on that whole "I'm in a band" scale?

If anyone is hooked drop me a line because I wouldn't mind going to see them if they come to the UK :)

Here's a link to their Youtube channel;

Friday, 29 January 2016

Religious or Spiritual

I can't be bothered to start writing about the thoughts whizzing around my head on this subject as I suppose I could write for quite sometime and ultimately make no sense and come to no conclusion.

So instead I am just going to leave the title of the self-explanatory post as my post.

Thursday, 28 January 2016

nine practicle reasons

1. moving out will take half the time
2. drive me to the airport
3. will do itunes things so i don't have to
4. constant restaurant eatings
5. bring me things
6. pick me up from the airport
7. obligatory support
8. excuse to get out of other things
9. dance buddy at the club

Tuesday, 19 January 2016

I Owe No Explanations

So the other day on the train, to my utter dismay I bumped into somebody I went to school with.

Our eyes locked and I am not one for such obvious avoidance, and so I nodded in acknowledgement before looking away to pointlessly play on my phone. This imbecile took the nod of acknowledgement and turned it into an invitation to sit opposite me for a crushingly unwanted fifteen minute chat (I know the exact time as that's how long it would take the train to get me to my sanctuary.... I mean stop. (I mean sanctuary)).

We went through the standard topics when you see someone you used to know.
-Where are you going?
-Have you finished uni?
-Where are you working know?
-The Weather
-High School Bitching
-Post High School realisation

What annoyed me the most is this fool who knew nothing of me before and nothing of me now, had the audacity to say to me "But you're actually looking for real jobs right?" When I mentioned that I am mostly getting work experience.

Like how dare you.

I won't lie, between the two slow blinks and fixed smile I had to convince myself to not A) Bitch Slap the pompous fool, before I B) Tore is throat out with my teeth and then C) Basked in the warmth of his blood.

Naturally I gave some composed line full of shade, but this leads me on to the point of my post. I owe nobody any explanations. I do not need to be in a situation with depressed money hungry ingrates about my goals in life. The odds of me seeing this idiot again in another 5 going on 6 years, is slim. And to anyone I do see that I owe nothing too.... who knows what I'll tell them about my life. It makes no difference to them except for "OMIGOSH GUESS WHO I SAW" moments they have with anyone from highschool they still keep in contact with, and for me?

Well I get to practice my straight faced storytelling.

Side Note
Everyone is obsessed with asking if I still speak to Girl Who Used To Be My Friend That Is No Longer My Friend. As if this is still sixthform. And when I say that I don't they feel that they need to spill all their pent up hatred for her to me. If I haven't spoken to the girl for five years, and don't even call her by name...... WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I CARE?

Humans eh.

Friday, 15 January 2016

Blog Challenge: Day 12 - Your Favourite Childhood Book

I can still just about recite Each Peach Pear Plum, and pick it up for a read whenever I see it about.

Every big reader has that one book that got them into reading, and for me it was The Tulip Touch. I was in Year 6 and would get in trouble by the teacher for reading it while they were teaching. I think I won the Headteacher Award that month because of it. My teacher said that I showed commitment, interest and something or the other. Which was pretty ironic.

This was possibly one of the first Meg Cabot Books I read. I was probably more of an early teen than a "child" but I thought I would stick it on here anyway. I thought the main character was so cool.

Thought Of The Day

Sometimes even the people that you are told can help you, can't.

Don't listen to them just because you think you should and because everyone else does.

Things I Need To Get Under Control

The ridiculous habit I have of laughing at other peoples misfortune. 

That sounds worse than it is, but for example I as walking home from the station and there's this crossroads. It was prime traffic time but basically all these cars had tried to get past the red light, but in doing so blocked up the passage for other cars because their lane ahead wasn't moving.

The intersection looked a mess, and as I walked past, I just burst out laughing. I was laughing at how silly all the cars looked, and the fact that they couldn't go anywhere and that they were all getting really angry at one another and basically made the situation worse for themselves.

That's not so bad right?

People will be telling stories at work, and.... Well I can't think of an example but I'd be the only one laughing and everyone else will be like "awwww" or "oh no"


Wednesday, 13 January 2016

The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath

Just wanted to shout out to this book I just read. I loved it. It's now on my favourite books list.

I knew that a well known book called "The Bell  Jar" Existed, and I knew that Sylvia Plath was a poet who committed suicide by putting her head in a gas oven, however I didn't know she had written the book. This does explain why it reads like a beautiful piece of poetry.

I thought it followed well, was relatable and was clever. I can understand why it may not be everyone's cup of tea, but if you feel we have similar tastes then give it a read.

Sunday, 10 January 2016

Thought Of The Day

Black girls don't look each other in the eye. They look each other in their parting.


Unless clearly stated or quoted otherwise, everything on here is of my own life mind and thoughts and so I would appreciate if you intend to copy anything, please reference either the blog name, post title etc by form or a link. Thank you.

Letsnotbemelodramatic 2008©