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Net Caught Mind Wanderings

Wednesday, 1 June 2011

Im a nostalgic fool

Who has just spent the last hour or so going through random past bllog posts and i have realised a few things have changed about me. Stuff that you dont really understand until you find an explanation if ya get me?

Well firstly and most formostly, i used to be a much better writer. I know right? Hard to imagine. but alas its true my old stuff was more witty and even though my spelling still sucked crackers it didnt get in the way of me telling a thrilling tale of the days events.
Though for all i know im just being hard on myself for not doing more writing, so tell me what ya think, if you have time to read a random post. I reccomed something from late 2009 or mid 2010.

Also the way i outwardly used to make it clear when i didnt care about a situation, or what someone was saying or doing etcera has also changed. Alot of my older posts usually ending in telling you that i didnt care whether or not you liked what i wrote or just telling you that i told someone that i didnt care about what they were doing or what they said to me. And also telling you that i didnt care about how the post looked in the end. Now thats a lot of not caring.
Now, on the other hand i still generally dont care about the same stuff if not a lot more stuff, the only difference is that i just dont announce my nonchalance/indifference/noncarance to the people who are talking a bunch of shit i dont care about and so on and so forth. I just dont say anything. I've reached such a high level of not caring that im just numb.
Yes i realise that i sound incredibly self loathing. Actually minus the self. I just sound like a straight up bitch, but tahts all inside stuff and its just better for both me and you and whatever situation im not caring about to just be silent and nod and act like i care.
Okay thinking back to what ive written i make it sound like i never care about anything at all at anytime or place. I do find things intereting, you've seen me laugh and smile and make jokes at life, its a 75/25 thing. But im not telling you which is which.
In conclusion its given me a good inner calm and im happily centered

Yeah a lot has changed. Well slightly, but like i said its just one of those things you dont notice till you notice.

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